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An earlier commenter suggested that nudists and swingers can get along in Cap d'Agde. That may be true, but the situation seems quite a bit different in the United States, where attitudes towards sex and nudity are much more primitive and unhelpful.

We'd like to begin by saying that when nudist resorts take measures to ensure that swingers do not enter their grounds or to make people feel nervous that what they do behind closed doors will get out and that they'll be punished for it when it does...those resorts go too far. That seems no better than, say, trying to discriminate against homosexuals for what THEY do behind closed doors. HOWEVER, there are some unfortunate cultural realities that must be dealt with in the United States:

One unfortunate cultural realtiy is that Americans tend to have unenlightened attitudes about nudity. To those Americans, taking off your clothes is an invitation to sex. Period. It doesn't matter if you just want to enjoy the sun without the restriction of clothes and want to not have tan lines. It doesn't matter if you want to go swimming but don't have a bathing suit. It doesn't matter if you're around good friends and just need to make a quick change of clothes. None of that matters. No bit of context, outside of a doctor's visit, seems to matter to American conceptions of nudity. Almost universally, it just signifies sex to them. We Americans tend to be simple-minded like that about a lot of things (and it gets us into trouble all the time).

But another unfortunate cultural reality is that Americans tend to have EVEN MORE unenlightened attitudes about sex. For many, MANY Americans, encountering actual sexual activity outside of a very narrow set of parameters freaks them the fuck out.

We (Gothicgranola) consider ourselves as culturally progressive as can be. Culturally progressive to the degree that we actually agree with another earlier commenter that "open-air sex is way cool" and that it'd be great if there were a place people could go to enjoy that kind of experience. But because of the two unfortunate cultural realities mentioned above, we feel a fair amount of hostility towards nudist resorts that do certain things to cater to swingers. Here's why:

As the article mentions, what often happens is that nudist resorts begin with a clear, consistent message about nudity that runs something like: "Come here to get naked. You might've been taught that being naked is about sex, but it isn't. It can also just be a nice way to enjoy the day and be around other people. Clothes aren't as necessary as you think." Now... Despite the simplistic American attitudes about nudity, you can still sometimes entice some people to venture enough out of their comfort zones and visit a nudist resort to see if that message is really true. And when they do, if they happen to visit a resort that has lots of nudity with no more hints of sexuality than are normally found in the outside world, the message gets across and they are able to disconnect nudity from sex in their minds and they'll spread that truth to others as well. This is social progress. It's a good thing.

BUT if they go into a nudist resort and see women walking around in teddies...or a man walking around in high-heeled leather bondage gear...or a flyer for that night's "Naughty Negligee" contest with a graphic of a porn-star-looking woman sporting a come-hither look...or people just straight up getting blowjobs by the side of the pool (all of which we have seen at some "nudist" resorts)...If people see things like THAT while being told that "nudism isn't about sex," they're not going to believe the message at all. Instead, they're going to freak out (because, as previously mentioned, deviant sex is even harder for Americans to deal with than deviant nudity), retreat back into their primitive conventional beliefs that equate nudity with sex, and never come back.

Now, maybe the Lifestylers reading this comment think that none of that matters. If some simpletons can't detach sex and nudity, a Lifestyler might say, so much the worse for them, but so what? "So what" is that swinging, unlike nudism, is so far out there for most Americans that they can't bring themselves to be comfortable enough explore it at all in anything resembling a thoughtful, healthy way. It's just too much of a leap for them, by and large. If they are first able to unlearn the idea that nudity with others is bad by visiting a nudist resort that practices what it preaches, then they can sometimes take the next step of unlearning the idea that sex with others is bad. But skipping straight to sexual enlightenment is too much progresss too fast for a whole bunch of people. We can and have taken some of our vanilla friends to visit nudist resorts to see what they're all about, but there's NO WAY they'd go with us to visit a sex club to see what IT'S all about. We posit that if The Lifestyle is ever going to gain the cultural acceptance in the United States that it is gaining in Europe, Americans need to first be in the habit of making finer distinctions in their minds when it comes to what they do with their bodies and what those things mean. Nudist resorts that stick to their message facilitate that. Nudist resorts that DON'T stick to their message allow people to keep their primitive attitudes about nudity, and as a consequence, about sex.

Or so we think. There is another possibility, which is that it's useless at this point to fight the ignorant American association of sex with nudity and so we ought to just let them have their silly beliefs about that and get them used to sex instead if we want to make social progress with body beliefs...which will get them used to nudity anyway if you can pull it off since people usually have sex in the nude. Given the degree to which many nudist resorts in the U.S. have already corrupted their message to increase their sales (ah, the almighty dollar...is there anything you CAN'T ruin?), and given how much of a lack of vision nudist organizations seem to have (we speak from long experience when we say that they seem to have no clear plan about how to empower their movement, nothing more in the way of words than the same old tired propaganda they've had for years, and, most importantly, no idea of how to make their venues appealing to young people), maybe the best thing is to give the task of enlightening Americans about good body mores to Lifestylers. They, at least, have a vibrance that the nudists don't have and the message is less polluted (even if a bit more "out there").

The issue is a complicated one. It's hard to say which is the best way to go. But one thing seems clear: Nudist resorts, if they're going to promote sexual themes all over the place, should stop calling themselves "nudist" resorts. The mixed message just confuses people and thus makes them have weird and unhelpful beliefs.

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Posted by: Gothicgranola | Jan 10, 2010 11:38:59 PM REPORT ABUSE

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The Grove in Cleveland, GA allows sex in public, just not in the pool/hot tub for sanitary reasons.

Have fun!

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Posted by: PartyTravl | Feb 17, 2009 6:34:05 AM REPORT ABUSE

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Just found this after finding Kasidie, so I don't know if anyone would see this post, but...wondered if there are any true lifestyle resorts, which understand that open-air sex is way cool, that don't have a "no public sex" dictum?

We have a private back yard with pool and spa in N. Texas where a lot of sexual activity goes on over the summer months (and in the spa even in the dead of winter, here), and would only want to frequent such 'nudist' or 'lifestyle friendly' resorts if what I can do at home can be done there, too. Why should I have to scale back my natural enjoyment if the resorts don't make provision for such activities to go on? I'm not asking to lay her out on the table at dinner while everyone moves aside, but would expect there to be some comfortable and not-so-private places to have open-air sex if they want my money and attendance. If it has to be behind closed doors, I can do that at home or off-premises parties, too, so I'm trying to figure out how to find such places.

Anyone know of those resorts that are a lot more tolerant and make space for natural sexual expression at these resorts?

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Posted by: ajeude | Dec 2, 2008 10:29:31 AM REPORT ABUSE

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I usually attend Sea Mountain Inn in so California. This resort is so lifestyle friendly. You walk in and find yourself in another world. I've heard guest leave saying its like fantasy island. Its a great place to go when you don't have the time or money to go out of the country.

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Posted by: sexysafire | Feb 26, 2008 7:26:45 PM REPORT ABUSE

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The experience of Cap d'Agde, the nude "city" on the French Mediterranean, shows how nudists and swingers co-exist. The swingers tend to push the boundaries with sexual actions in public places. For example, the police substation, above the swinger-frequented beach, keeps things from getting out of control. However, nudist complaints to the Mayor and police result in periodic crack-downs. The third community, nudist gay men, has also experienced police crack-downs. Will the nudist/swinger communities have to decide how to approach that in the USA?

Both swingers and nudists are necessary for the continued financial survival of the naturist quarter of Cap d'Agde. Nudists do not frequent the restaurants and clubs enough to keep them in business. Swinger numbers are insufficient to keep the businesses going either. The French politicians seem to realize that fact and maintain a healthy balance between the two communities. The question is whether USA politicians will behave in a similar balanced manner. Can they, as the French, not overreact to periodic fights among friends as nudists and swingers grow into a healthy respect for each other?

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Posted by: Traveler | Feb 26, 2008 6:01:54 AM REPORT ABUSE

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Great article and its timeliness if almost uncanny. We recently took a FAM trip with Castaway Travels this past January to review the New Caliente Caribe Resort in the Dominican Republic, formally Eden brook. The trip consisted of event and travel trip promoters, diehard nudist and many lifestyle club owners. We were among the lifestyle club owner. We (my husband and I) will both tell you undeniably we are not nudist. We have heard over time that many �Nudist� resorts frown on the �Lifestyle Community�. I guess we are seeing more and more of a natural progression from some nudist and lifestylers to merge into what someone on the trip so eloquently put �we are twinners� In-between a Nudist and a Lifestyler. I found that summarization quite fitting for them. They do enjoy the lifestyle and its personal expression of being nudist and also the openness within their personal relationships of being lifestylers. Two, although different, choices of freedoms and expressions they can be very cohesive to each other. I do see more and more resorts taking this approach but would always be respectful of any locations desires for limitations.

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Posted by: tabusocialclub | Feb 25, 2008 8:52:43 AM REPORT ABUSE

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We have had the pleasure of spending time at a few of these nudist resorts. They are open, friendly and always comfortable. Even if you choose to wear clothing, no one minds. Not all of them are swinger communities but you never know what happens behind closed doors.

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Posted by: swingkids3 | Feb 7, 2008 10:46:30 AM REPORT ABUSE

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