Artwork by T.J. Kirsch.

Did you ever wonder how things got so crazy and out of control in the Middle East? I am not talking about the war. I am talking about how an entire region of this planet has become so manic about their religion, and how they'll oppress, censor, or even kill anyone whose opinions simply differ from theirs? Here in the West, with our evolved sensibility we can look eastward and recognize the inherent hypocrisy that a government based on religion provides. We can watch disapprovingly as these savages take lives in the name of God. That is why America's forefathers were wise enough to specifically write into the Constitution of The United States of America a distinct separation between church and state. We, of the tolerant Judeo/Christian West would never dream of infusing religion and government... Or would we?

I submit this to you all:

FY 2007 PROGRAM ANNOUNCEMENT Section 510 Abstinence Education Program CFDA # 93.235

Here is a link so that you can view this entire assault on sexuality, and how the religious right has hijacked our government.

They can call it what they want, and give whatever rationalizations they think you are stupid enough to believe. But when it all boils down, this is the religious right dictating government policy. I'll hit some of the low points of this, because this document is HUGE, and reading this in its entirety will make want to drink Woolite.

	Section 510(b)(2) definition of Abstinence Education
	For purposes of this section, the term "abstinence education" means an educational or motivational program which –
	(A) Has as its exclusive purpose, teaching the social, psychological, and health gains to be realized by abstaining from sexual activity;

Great, does this also teach the social and psychological effects of not having sex? Of course not, its exclusive purpose is to instill and ingrain the religious right's agenda. What social and psychological gains are they talking about? Is being hard up healthy?

(B) Teaches abstinence from sexual activity outside marriage as the expected standard for all school age children;

How many school-aged children are getting married? But hey, it's never too early to start them on the guilt for having a libido.

(C) Teaches that abstinence from sexual activity is the only certain way to avoid out-of-wedlock pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and other associated health problems;

Oh, and they are forgetting another sure fire way to avoid all of this stuff. Death. This is like saying that without marriage there would be no divorce, and without cars there would be no vehicular homicides. Great, now they are proposing that we all become sexually Amish. Think they would mention condoms?... Nah.

(D) Teaches that a mutually faithful monogamous relationship in the context of marriage is the expected standard of human sexual activity;

Great standard. Too bad it doesn't exist. They might as well teach that marital infidelity, emotional abandonment and extra marital fucking is the standard. Have these morons ever thought that this bullshit approach is the reason for all of this sexual impropriety? Keep teaching people that monogamy is natural, and watch the divorce rate rise.

(E) Teaches that sexual activity outside of the context of marriage is likely to have harmful psychological and physical effects;

Oh yeah, nothing like the harmful physical and psychological effects of getting laid all the damn time. If it weren't for ridiculous assholes who would attempt to implement guilt based self-righteous hypocritical crap like this, there wouldn't be any harmful psychological effects. Great idea these shit-heads have: create a standard that makes people feel guilty for having natural desires, and then tell them that they are the problem, not the standard. I truly hope the person who wrote this gets genital herpes from an improperly sanitized public toilet seat.

(F) Teaches that bearing children out-of-wedlock is likely to have harmful consequences for the child, the child's parents, and society;

I actually agree with this one, which is why we need to teach birth control. But they don't really want that type of education, because it would make it more difficult to impose self-righteous anti-sex rhetoric like this:

(G) Teaches young people how to reject sexual advances and how alcohol and drug use increases vulnerability to sexual advances;

Perfect. Tie sex in with drugs and alcohol. Maybe they'd like to make the connection to terrorism too? Hey kids, if you fuck before you get married, you're funding Al Queda. I can't speak about drugs, but I will say now and for the record that a couple of drinks with sex is definitely a good thing.

(H) Teaches the importance of attaining self-sufficiency before engaging in sexual activity.

Right, try becoming self sufficient with no sex life. But if we have to wait until we're married anyway, what difference does this point make? Have money before we get married so we can fuck? O.K., thanks for the tip.

Hey boys and girls, listen up... See for yourselves what these cocksuckers are trying to do. They are trying to make you feel guilty for your natural wants, needs and desires. They want to make you feel guilty for having a libido. Look at the world around you, and use the knowledge that you already posses. If you try to live your life as these dickheads would have you... with only ONE penis, and ONE vagina between you and your betrothed for the rest of your life forever and ever until death do you part, you are certain to spend the rest of your days as a seriously miserable mutherfucker. By all means, if you think this is the righteous path, give it your best shot. But most people know better, which is why virtually no one even attempts to live like this. But with all of these hypocrites telling us that we are morally wrong for having sexual desire, we can never be honest, even with ourselves. Damn... this just sucks.

Here is the obvious: Don't have kids before your ready... use birth control, and especially condoms. Is wearing a rubber a big pain in the ass? Sure it is, but try getting up every night for two years to feed your crying infant, and then tell me if you think wearing a condom is still a pain in the ass. Try changing diapers while your friends are all going out on Saturday night. Guys: don't stick your dick into just anything. And girls: use your head before you spread your legs. We all already know that we need to make better decisions about fucking. These dregs should be teaching responsibility, and protection, but they want to impose a standard that they know we can't live up to because the real agenda is to perpetuate, and maybe even increase out of wedlock teenage births. They, the religious right, think you are all stupid, and if you stay poor and uneducated, it will increase their numbers. Trying to live up to this standard will certainly accomplish that.

SEX is NOT bad.

Being irresponsible is.

Have sex, but be responsible. Tell these ignominious dolts to go fuck themselves, because they aren't allowed to fuck anyone else, after all. Lose the guilt, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

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