The following stories are true. The names have been changed to protect the (not so) innocent...

The First Date

It was our very 1st "date" with another couple. We had never been to a swinger club and we had been looking at profiles online for about six months when we decided to do it. We were going to meet a real swinging couple, in our own city, face to face. Boy, were we nervous! One day we were browsing one of the swinger personals websites when we received an e-mail from a couple. They were the same age as us, they had decent photos and they seemed like a good match. Best yet, they e-mailed us and wanted to meet for drinks that weekend.

Luckily for us,my husband's Mom lives just two doors down and is always a reliable last minute babysitter. I put on a low cut dress and a sexy short skirt. I even had my hair done that afternoon, so we could make a good impression. I will never forget the look on his mom's face when she came over to watch the kids, "Wow, where are you two going tonight? Is this a special occasion?" If she only knew.

We hurried to the car and headed across town to a great little restaurant that we know well. The other couple said they would be wearing a red sweater but we figured we'd recognize them immediately from their photos (even though their faces were blurred out). When we got to the restaurant, we went to the bar and looked around and there were only two couples in the bar, one in their upper 60's and one very ugly couple. Clearly, none of these people were "our" couple. So, we sat at the bar, ordered a drink and waited.

I ordered a Cosmopolitan and we sat nervously eyeing everyone that entered the restaurant. A few families came in, a group of women that looked like they were coworkers, another older couple... but still no sign of our date. I had just ordered another Cosmo when a very striking couple came through the door. She was tall, blonde and gorgeous. He was very handsome but looked younger than us, could this be the right couple? We hoped so. Instead of coming to the bar, they went right to the restaurant and were seated. Nope, not our date for the night.

By my third Cosmo, I was sure we'd been stood up. We looked around the bar again, the older couple had left, a few single men were now sitting at the bar and that same ugly couple was still sitting in the corner... and he had a red sweater on! Wait a minute, that couldn't be the right couple. They didn't look anything like the photos on their profile, did they? I strained to remember what their pictures looked like. They really didn't reveal much, they were very low resolution, their heads were blurred out, but still, this couldn't be...

He's getting up and he's looking straight at us. He finally heads our way and asks us if we were waiting for someone. "Nope" I blurt out, "We just came here for some Cosmos." My husband looked at me like I was crazy. "In fact, we were just leaving... Weren't we, honey?" and I excused myself to the bathroom, where I made my awkward escape.

While I waited in the car for my husband, I called his mom to see how everything was going and to let her know that we were coming home early. When he finally got in the car, we both started laughing uncontrollably. "Can you believe that?" he said. "That wasn't the couple I remember from the profile pictures", Nope, I agreed. We started home, laughing and talking about our adventure.

Is this how this "lifestyle" is going to be? we asked each other. We feel that we are a reasonably attractive couple, so how do we find another couple that we will click with? How ugly was that couple anyway? Will other couples think we aren't up to their standards? We talked about it for the entire drive home. Instead of being too disappointed, we made light of the situation and agreed to give swinging another try.

Just then I heard a strange sound. I couldn't tell where it was coming from so I turned the radio down and listened some more... It sounded like a woman's voice... There it was again... "Do you hear that?" I asked my husband. "I think it's coming from your purse" he said. I reached inside my purse and pulled out my phone and put it up to my ear, "Hello?".

"I've been screaming into this phone for 15 minutes now!" said my husband's mother from the other end of the line, "You never hung up the phone when we were talking earlier and I can't get the line to hang up".

My heart skipped a beat. She had been on the phone the entire time we had been in the car! Did she hear what we were saying? I mean, the radio was on and the phone was in my purse... Oh, my God, if she heard us... Oh, I couldn't think about this right now!...

"Um... Sorry, Mom... We're almost home..."

"No problem, see you in a couple of minutes" she said in her normal cheery voice.

Whew! From the tone of her voice she obviously hadn't heard our scandalous conversation. We really dodged a bullet. My husband and I both breathed a huge sigh of relief.

A few minutes later we pulled into our driveway. We were anxious to get inside and put this night behind us. As we opened the door we were met by his Mother, standing with her arms folded across her chest...

"So", she asked, "exactly how ugly were they?"

The Law of Averages

Shortly after moving to NYC, we heard about a club near Wall St. We'd never been to a swinger club before but we had heard good things about it from a few of our friends, so we decided to give it a try. When we entered the club, there were two couples checking in ahead of us. Both looked very professional and were nice looking. "This might not be so bad after all", I thought. We paid the cover charge and checked in. Since we were new, we were given a tour of the club.

During the day, this place was an Italian restaurant, then on Friday and Saturday nights the restaurant was converted to one of Manhattan's most popular "swing" clubs. The main social area was usually the dining room, but most of the tables had now been removed in order to create a small dance floor. Through another door we found a small buffet and the bathrooms. Down a hall, there was a pool table and further on, in the back of the restaurant, there were a number of booths. It was very dark back there and I wondered why they were showing us this area at all, because it looked like it was closed. Anyway, we decided to head back to the main social area.

We found a table near the dance floor and we sat, we watched, we danced, we drank and we had a great night. Another couple we knew met up with us at the club later that night. They sat with us and introduced us to a few other couples. Everyone was so friendly that we quickly felt right at home.

Around midnight, I started getting the munchies so I decided to get some food. While picking at the buffet, I noticed a few couples heading to the back area of the restaurant that I thought was closed. After grabbing a small plate I followed to see what was going on. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see. It took me a few minutes for my eyes to adjust but I quickly figured out why it was kept so dark back there... This was where everyone came at the end of the night for sex. Lot's of sex.

I had never seen anything like this before when I realized I was the only guy without a partner, worse yet, I was standing in the doorway staring, holding a heaping plate full of food. Whoops!

I quickly headed back to our table. My wife asked me about the food at the buffet. "Forget the food," I said, "you gotta see the back room!".

"Yeah, it's about the time things get crazy back there.", said our friend. Why hadn't they told us about this before!? I felt like we just stumbled onto a big secret. It was the first time I'd ever seen an orgy... And I was ready to see more!

We all headed back to the dark room at the end of the hall and found an empty booth. A cute couple saw us watching them play in the next booth. So the girl leaned over the cushioned divider into our booth and her partner got behind her. We had been to many house parties and we had experience playing with other singles and couples, but we always knew them. This couple was complete strangers... and they were now leaning into our world and they were "doing it!". One of our friends reached up and started playing with her breasts through her shirt. After a minute or two, the girl pulled off her top and her bra up so they could have easier boobie access... "This is so freakin' cool!", I thought to myself.

We got up and walked around to get a better view. We started looking around so we could see everything that was going on... and believe me, there was a lot going on. My wife started unbuckling my pants and it wasn't long before I had her bent over one of the booth's tables.

I contemplated for a moment, that hours from now, customers would be eating lunch in these very same booths, oblivious that just hours before, 100 people were having sex all over the furniture.

We never had sex with anyone else that night, but quite a few sexy people rubbed up against us, and we returned the favor. It was very sexy. In fact, it might have been one of the most unexpectedly sexy nights of our lives. We really wanted to do it again.

Six weeks later we went back to the club. We had big smiles on our faces as we signed in and hung up our coats. We didn't need a tour this time, we knew the deal. We were keepers of the secret. The night went on very similar to last time. Dancing, drinking, eating (this time, I hit the buffet a little earlier) and then we headed to the back to the "secret" room.

We started out, much like the previous adventure, finding a booth and lots of hands going everywhere. Just when we were about to have some fun, a really cute couple came over and sat next to us.

"We noticed you the last time you were here", they said. I couldn't believe that this really hot couple actually remembered us from six weeks ago! "I'd really like to play with you.", the girl said directly to me. I was on top of the world! She wanted me! I must have been doing something right. I never expected to get this lucky. My confidence had never been so high!... Then her husband explained:

"You see, my wife has always wanted to try anal sex, but my cock is way too big so we've never been able to do it. Then we saw you and we thought you would probably fit."

What?... In that instant my confidence went from an all time high to a record low. I couldn't believe this was happening to me! Two complete strangers were sitting here telling me that they'd noticed that I had a small dick! It was every man's worst nightmare!... Or was it?I was just about ready to let my male insecurities get the best of me and run home crying, when it suddenly dawned on me...

"Wait a second... This unbelievably hot woman is asking me to fuck her in the ass!"

So what if it's because I have an "average" sized cock? Could I live with that?... You bet her ass I could! In fact, now that I'd thought about it, I actually felt sorry for her husband. There's no telling how much ass he's missing out on because of his inconveniently huge penis. Poor guy. This was my duty, I had to help this couple. It was like I'd be doing community service... in a hot girl's ass.

I guess her husband could tell that I was mentally struggling with the situation because he suggested that his wife give me a blow job. I have to admit, when trying to convince a man to have anal sex with your wife, playing the "blow job card" is a rather brilliant strategy indeed.

It wasn't long before this beautiful woman was completely naked, lying on her back on the table in our booth. Her husband moved aside all of the condiments (salt, pepper, sugar packets, ketchup) so she could lie all the way down (now that's a good husband). My wife and the girl's husband sat on opposite sides of the table so they could take turns rubbing her breasts and kissing her while I concentrated on the bottom half.

She pulled her legs back and I lubed up, ready to go where no man had ever gone before. It was time to do the job that mother nature had had the foresight to build me for... It was time to fuck some ass! I had start very slowly and take my time, but wasn't long before we had worked up to a pretty amazing pace. A crowd started gathering around us. Somehow they sensed that something special was going on and we became the most popular attraction of the night.

When we went home, we talked about the ass-perience over and over again. We couldn't wait to go back. But, due to being young and fairly broke at the time, we didn't return until about two months later.

After eating, drinking, dancing and flirting, we made our way to the club's back room for our 3rd time. On the way down the hall an excited and apparently star-struck stranger stopped me and exclaimed,"Hey, aren't you the Ass Man!?"

"Why yes.", I said, striking my best Superman pose, "Yes I am."

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