Remember that song, Talk Dirty to Me, from the '80s? The lyrics are simple, and they make talking dirty seem simple. However, talking dirty isn't easy for everyone and for people new to dirty talk, it can seem downright awkward to attempt.

Talking dirty, in the right circumstances and with the right person, can be a huge turn-on. So, how do you overcome your trepidation? How do you turn those naughty thoughts into naughty words?

How do you talk dirty in bed?

Read on, and soon your partner will be begging, "talk dirty to me!"

Artwork by T.J. Kirsch.

Do Your Homework
Do not fear! This is FUN homework. Your assignment is to seduce yourself. Set the scene with what works for you – music, videos, a steamy read... As you stroke yourself, imagine your partner is there. Imagine the things you've always wanted to say except, this time, SAY them. You're alone – you don't need to worry about sounding silly or stupid. Moan, groan, and utter every word that comes to mind. If you like watching porn while masturbating, find a video where the actors are being particularly filthy-mouthed... then try talking back to them. It may feel silly at first, but once you get over it, you might be surprised how fun and erotic it becomes.

Practice, Practice, Practice
The key way to getting comfortable with doing something new is to practice doing it. You'll learn about the words and phrases that work for you, and those that don't. Some that may seem awkward at first may become more comfortable, with practice. Plus, it's a great excuse to masturbate!

Give it a Test Ride
Once you start feeling comfortable with different sounds, words, and phrases, it's time to try it out with a partner. Don't jump in with both feet, unless it feels right. If you've been quiet in the past, start out with those unintelligible verbalizations of your desire ("mmmmm", "ohhhhhh", etc.). If your partner is doing something that is particularly enjoyable, show your appreciation by saying things like, "yes" or "more".

Shift into a Higher Gear
Now that you're comfortable with expressing your appreciation, it's time to articulate it. Start telling your partner things like, "It feels so good when you do that" or "I love the way you touch me". You can say things like, "Tell me what you like" or "Tell me where you love to be touched". Not only do you express your desire for the other person, but you open up the door for them to talk dirty to you, too.

Go Full Throttle
Now's the time to break out the truly dirty talk, as dirty as you and your partner want to get. (Note: if there are words that are off-limits for you or your partner, it's good to set ground rules ahead of time.) Use the words that have always seemed forbidden – the naughtiness can be a real turn-on. Encourage your partner to do the same. You may discover desires of theirs that you never knew.

Keep it Tuned
Practice makes each experience even better. You'll find that, as time goes on, talking dirty becomes second nature and is a great way to spice up your sex life... you nasty little slut.

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