For the past 2 months, I've asked Kasidie readers to name some of the items that they believed no swinger's home should be without, and tell me why. Many of these items are very useful things which may not be immediately obvious to the average swinger until it's too late.

With nearly a decade of experience in the swinger lifestyle, I've been to a lot of people's homes and have learned a lot about how the littlest things can often make a big difference in one's enjoyment of an evening. The following is a list I've compiled of 10 simple items that every swinger should have in their home, along with some relevant and entertaining stories submitted by Kasidie readers. Some of the following items may deal with issues or situations which are unpleasant or embarassing to read about, think about, and most of all, talk about. The purpose of this article is to help you create the most swinger friendly enviroment in your home by anticipating some of the unspoken needs of your guests.

#1 Wet Wipes

There's an old joke that goes: How do you know that the human body wasn't designed by an architect?... Because, no architect in his right mind would put the snack bar that close to the shitter! Some European countries take their undercarriage cleanliness so seriously that bidets are standard plumbing in most bathrooms. But here in the USA, the general population seems satisfied by scraping a dry piece of paper across their backdoor. Nobody would ever expect their windows to get cleaned by rubbing them with a dry paper towel and no Windex... Yet that's exactly the mentality that most Americans seem to adopt when it comes to their bathroom habits.

Compared to the Vanilla population, we swingers have higher than average chance of regularly finding our friends' noses within a few inches of our assholes. Don't our friends deserve our windows to be squeaky clean? Wet wipes are cheap, flushable and available in the same aisle as you buy your toilet paper. As swingers, there is no excuse not to have them in every bathroom in your home... unless you have a bidet.

We usually carry wet wipes with us when we go to play parties just in case the hosts don't provide them. We're both very 'anal' about our hygiene when it comes to playing with others. When I know, without a doubt, that I'm totally clean, I feel much more confident and uninhibited during play. One time we forgot our wipes. So I did the best I could by wetting some toilet paper under the faucet and using a little soap. I felt clean. Later I was on my knees, ass in the air, 69-ing this other girl, when I suddenly felt a couple fingers brush quickly through my ass crack. My husband then whispered into my ear, "You had some paper in your ass. Don't worry, I got it." The girl who had been going down on me probably had a bird's eye view of it the whole time. I was mortified! We're NEVER leaving home without our wipes again!
-Danni, CA-

This may sound crazy, but my attraction to a couple actually drops if I'm in their home and I realize that they don't have any wet wipes in their bathrooms. From that moment on, every time I see them I can't stop imagining that they must have stinky butt-holes!... Yuck! What a total turn-off!!! My husband told me I was over-reacting, saying, "You're obviously not planning to lick their butt, so what does it matter?" To which I responded, "If gave you a plate with a delicious piece of cake on it, but someone had smeared some doo-doo a few inches away from it... would you still eat that cake?"... That shut him up.
-Carrie, Louisiana-

#2 Oral Hygiene Products

We have a group of friends who we enjoy having regular sexy dinner parties with at each other's homes. The only problem with combining dinner and swinging is that people usually need to brush their teeth in-between (especially if we cooked something using garlic, which we often do.... Yum!). We all used to bring our toothbrushes with us to each persons house. But one night our friends had a brilliant idea and had actually bought us all our own toothbrushes, put each of our names on them, and even made a special toothbrush holder that said, "The Sexy Supper Club" to store them all in. Now we've all adopted the same idea and each have a toothbrush holder filled with brushes with our friends name on them. It makes things much easier. Plus, my wife and I agree that there's something kind of sexy about knowing that you have your own toothbrush at a playmate's house.
-Dan, Colorado-

I'm a smoker, which makes me a minority among my swinger friends. I always carry mints, gum and breath strips with me to freshen my breath best I can, but nothing works as well as actually gargling with some Listerine and brushing my teeth. I actually refrained from playing one night because I was at someone's home and they didn't have any mouthwash. I was the only smoker there that night, so it made me extra self-conscious. Even with my other breath freshening methods, I wasn't feeling like my mouth was fresh enough to want to get near anyone.
-Lyndsey, Nevada-

#3 Air Fresheners

It's been scientifically proven that our sense of smell can greatly influence our mood. Pleasant smells can quickly make us happy, calm us and even sexually arouse us. Foul smells can just as quickly ruin our mood. Scented candles are a great way to both make your home and restroom smell nice, but also sets a nice mood.

You should also always have some sort of sprayable air freshener in your restroom so, if needed, your guests can mask embarrassing odors. If you're trying to appear sexy to someone, the last thing you want to do is subject them to the indian food you had for lunch.

We read a study that was done about the smells that are supposed to induce sexual arousal in men and women. Among them were cinnamon, lavender and pumpkin pie. So we decided to buy a bunch of scented candles of the aforementioned aromas for our next party (luckily it was November, so pumpkin pie candles were easy to find). Our place smelled fantastic! I'm not sure if it was the specific smells which aroused people, or if the scents just helped create a comfortable environment... But that was the fastest that people have ever started getting naked at our house. Plus, it was way better than the smell of our cat box which can sometimes dominate a room.
-Ally, South Dakota-

My wife, I and a few others were having a great time at the apartment of a hot couple we'd recently met. We were all getting along really well, so we decided to move to the bedroom. While I was preoccupied with a beautiful brunette, my wife went to the restroom, then returned a minute later holding her phone. "The babysitter just called and says that Jake isn't feeling well." As interested as I was in the girl I'd just started undressing, our son is always our first priority. So we said good night and left. "What's wrong with Jake?" I asked, once we were in the car. "Nothing," said my wife as she cringed and doubled over slightly, "I really needed to take a shit, but they only have one bathroom and there was no air fresheners in it! There's no way in HELL I was going to risk someone walking in there after me!... Now, for the love of God, please drive faster!"
-Mike, Georgia-

#4 iPod Dockable Stereo

Many people will argue that proper music may be the single most important element when setting a sexy mood. You may have a great stereo and a fantastic CD collection, but it's important to remember that music is very subjective. While you might think techno is great mood music, someone else might find it grating and a big turn off. But by having an iPod dockable sound system, it allows your guests to bring and share the music they like too. Who knows, you may even discover a new favorite artist.

We bought portable iPod speakers for every bedroom or play area in our house. No matter what size party we throw, we always invite our guests to bring their iPods with their favorite playtime playlists on them. It takes a lot of pressure off of us having to constantly monitor if everyone is comfortable with the music that is playing. People can just drop in their own iPod and play whatever music puts them into the mood. Plus, saying "I'd love to hear your playlist." has become a great excuse to get someone into the bedroom!
-Toni, Illinois-

#5 Sanitary Toys

Notice that this section is called SANITARY toys, not just "toys." We swingers usually have pretty decent sex toy collections. But just like swingers, our toys are very often non-monogamous. Some of our toys probably get around more than we do! With all that sharing can come a lot of risks. Take a moment and think about how you care for your sex toys. Do you wash them immediately after each use? Or do they ever end up dropped on the floor, then accidentally kicked under the bed until they're called upon again several days later? Sure, you wash it before using it, but it's still not as sanitary as making a habit of washing them immediately. Rinsing them with hydrogen peroxide is likely to kill any bacteria. There is a great page about the proper way to clean sex toys at HolisticWisdom.com. Lets assume you do wash them immediately; Where do you store them? Are they thrown into a drawer with other toys and other items to collect dust and who knows what else? After you properly wash and dry a toy, make sure that you're storing it in an equally clean and dry place. If you are concerned about the health concerns of using a toy from someone else's collection, just put a condom on it! This is also a great way to use up any of the expired condoms you have laying around.

I love sex toys, but I've never felt comfortable using any toys during play unless they are mine. Ever since a girlfriend of mine told me she once got a case of bacterial vaginosis from using someone else's dildo, I've become a bit of a germ-a-phobe. One night our friends pulled out their collection. They had actually sealed each individual sex toy in its own ziplock bag so they wouldn't be touching each other. They also kept a bottle of disinfectant with their collection for cleaning everything as soon as they finished playing. Seeing how much care they put into taking care of their toys totally put me at ease. I had no problem trying out all of the toys that they had to offer. Fun night!
-Cindy, California-

#6 Bottled Water

But you already have a filtered water dispenser on your sink or refrigerator? ... Well, unless you also have a filtered water dispenser in your bedroom, it doesn't really help when someone gets thirsty or has a dry mouth in the middle of playing. Having bottles of water stashed in your bedside table means that nobody has to leave the action to walk to the kitchen and spend precious playtime locating and filling a glass. Plus, I don't care how coordinated you are, or how long you've been swinging, I guarantee that there will come a time when you or your friends will knock over someone's water during sex. It's inevitable. But if the water is in a bottle, there is no spilling, no broken glass, no problem.

When we first moved to Las Vegas, we weren't used to the dry desert air. We discovered that we got INSANELY thirsty during sex. The first time we had another couple over, I felt like I spent more time running to the kitchen and refilling our waters than I did actually playing. Before we had another couple over, we went to CostCo and bought several palates of water that we now keep under the bed.
-Charlie, Nevada-

If someone has bottled water at their house, I often hold onto one empty bottle so that I can pour my cocktail into it if playtime begins. That way when I'm fucking, I don't worry about knocking over my vodka cranberry and ruining someone's carpet... Yes, I learned that lesson the hard way.
-Dolly, Arizona-

#7 Energy Drinks

If moral conservatives really wanted to destroy the swinger lifestyle, they could probably do it by cutting off our Red Bull supply. If swingers everywhere could finally figure out how to consistently get people playing before midnight, rather than 4AM as is so often the case, we probably wouldn't need the extra liquid pick-me-up. But until then, swingers will live off energy drinks! But canned energy drinks like Red Bull and Monster are often so expensive you might assume that the main ingredients are diamonds, gasoline and saffron. So if you are worried about cost, I suggest you take a trip to the powdered drink section of your supermarket and pick up a box of Power Edge drink packets. Power Edge contains all the energy inducing ingredients of the popular canned drinks, yet you get ten servings for about the price of only one can of Red Bull! It's also sugar free!

I work in a hospital during the week, so I'm used to going to sleep pretty early and getting up at 5AM. So on weekends I often start getting really sleepy before the party has even started warming up. If I didn't have the benefit of energy drinks, I'd probably have to abandon the swinger lifestyle altogether. One night we were at a party and there was no Red Bull or anything like it. I drank a few Diet Cokes because I felt myself getting tired. I thought it might be enough, but around 3AM I started nodding off... while a girl was going down on me! I've never felt so guilty in my life.
-Giles, Canada-

We're healthy eaters and we tend to be in pretty good physical shape. Yet about a year ago, when we started getting into the swinging lifestyle, I noticed that we'd each gained a couple of pounds. It was barely noticeable, except when we tried to fit into our tighter clothing (which I have a lot of). It didn't make any sense since we seemed to be much more physically active now that we were dancing, fucking and partying till sunrise every weekend. One night we met a sexy couple who were both worked as dietitians and asked them about our mysterious weight gain. They pointed at Red Bull vodkas we were drinking and told us that a single can of Red Bull contains 110 calories and 27 grams of sugar. Mystery solved! Between the two of us, we were sometimes drinking ten or more cans a weekend. We switched to powdered energy drink packets, and I'm happy to say my pants fit like a glove again.
-Alicia, Washington-

#8 Extra Towels

Between sexual lubricants, cum and (my personal favorite) squirting girls, sex can be a very messy business, and sometimes there can be casualties, like your upholstery or your new bedspread. If something needs to martyr itself for your sexy fun, there is no better candidate than a towel. Everyone owns towels. Most people even own extra towels. But not everyone owns a swinging amount of extra towels. Don't use your good towels. Stock up on cheap towels that you don't care about. It's a good rule of thumb to have at least one full sized towel on hand per couple at your party. If you have a pool or hot tub, double that number.

We were staying at a hotel in New Orleans for the huge annual Naughty in N'awlins swingers event that took place there. We had decided to check into the hotel a few days early so we explore the city a little. At check in I asked the desk clerk if they could send up some extra towels. Later, a lady from housekeeping knocked on our door and handed us a big stack of towels. She looked at us, smiled and said, "You two must be here for the swingers party." Since we currently were dressed very vanilla, I asked her how she possibly knew. "I've been working at this hotel for the past ten years. The first thing you swingers always do is ask for lots of extra towels."
-Barry, California-

I squirt... a lot! I won't have sex at all without putting a towel (or two) down first. One couple we play with has gone as far as to literally buy a towel with my name on it for when I come over. I thought that was pretty funny, and promised them that I'd put it to good use.
-Monica, Georgia-

#9 Contact Lens Supplies

I have wonderful single male friend who I will often play with. One night after a particularly exhausting sex session, I started nodding off. I was not looking forward to the long drive home I had ahead of me. He offered that I could stay the night. I really wanted to, except for the fact that I once again didn't think to bring my contact lens case or solution. He went into his bathroom and came back with brand new contact lens case and a bottle of solution. "I bought these after the last time you forgot," he said. He doesn't wear any contact lenses, so I was really touched that he'd thought to do that for me. I had a good night's sleep that night... and then he and I had a VERY good morning.
-Richelle, California-

#10 The Swinger Pharmacy

The only thing we love more than throwing house parties, is our persian cat. While neither of us have any allergies, we learned early on that we needed to always a lot of Claritin-D on hand for any of our guests who were allergic to our cat. One time a 1st time guest at our house was playing with us, and I noticed her eyes were all red and she was sniffling a lot. She looked miserable. Turns out she was severely allergic to our cat, but was too shy to say anything for fear of being rude... Silly girl! We could have given her something the moment she walked in the door if she'd only spoke up!
-Dee, Minnesota-

Fact! Sometimes some men in the lifestyle take Viagra so they can stay hard all night long. I've done this once or twice myself. ED drugs often have side effects of headache, neck ache and nasal congestion. What good is a rock hard erection if your head is pounding and you can't breathe? Having some Tylenol or Advil around, as well as some nasal decongestant can often make all the difference in the world.
-Tyler, New York-

Hey! What about condoms and lube?!

The ten items I've listed above are all a good idea to have around, but they are certainly not mandatory to a swinging experience. Condoms and lube are MANDATORY! If you really need someone to explain to you why you should have condoms and lube in your home, then you should probably not be a swinger... I wouldn't want you swinging anywhere near me or any of my friends. However, because they are so important to our swinger lifestyle, and also because so many of our readers had informative things to say about the subject, I'll take a moment to say some words about condoms and sexual lubricants.

#11

Condoms

I would hope that everyone in the swinger lifestyle already has condoms around their home. In fact, many of us swingers will buy our condoms in bulk, either online or in stores like Sam's Club or CostCo. But WAIT!!! Before you skip over this section and move on to the next item, there are some things you should consider about condoms. Might any of your guests have allergies to certain types of condoms? Do you have condoms that will fit all of your potential guests? If you bought a box of 100 condoms three years ago, are they still good? A proper swinger's condom supply should have variety and also be replenished frequently.

We have one friend who is allergic to latex, and another who is allergic to nonoxynol-9. So our condom collection contains both latex & synthetic condoms, each with a choice of spermicidal, plain lubricated and non-lubricated.
-Beth, California-

We went home with a really hot couple that we'd been flirting with at our local swinger club. Before leaving the club, we asked them if they had condoms at their place, or if we needed to stop at a convenience store on the way. They assured us that they had plenty of condoms. When it came time for action later that night, I asked the husband for a condom... and he handed me a Magnum. "Oh, I just need a regular condom." I said. Then he informed me that ALL of their condoms were Magnums, because that's the only type that fit him!... My wife and I felt like that was very inconsiderate and rather self-centered of them. Even though I'm an average size man, we always keep a few Magnums around the house to accommodate any larger men that might need one.
-Ron, Ohio-

While hosting some sexy fun at our house, one of the guests handed back the unopened condom I'd just given her and asked for another one. "It's expired," she explained. Later I looked through the condom collection that we'd amassed over the years and was shocked to find that most of them were expired. It turns out that if you keep them in a cool, dry place, a regular condom will be good for about five years, and a spermicidal one will only last two years. And if you keep a condom in your wallet for very long, its failure rate skyrockets quickly. Now we refresh our condom supply regularly and put aside the expired ones for use with our sex toys.
-Shoshana, New Hampshire-

#12 Sexual Lubricants

Another obvious item, right? Maybe not! While lube may not seem quite as important as condoms when it comes to safety, it's important to remember that ample lubrication lessens the chance of a condom breaking, as well as reducing the risk of irritation or micro-abrasions inside the vagina (or anus). You'd be surprised how many people find themselves without proper sexual lubricant around their house. Even if you do have a gallon of your favorite sex lube, it's important to remember that not all lubes are created equal. Some people have allergic reactions to certain lubricants. Some lubes can even destroy your favorite sex toy. While there is too huge a variety of lubricants on the market to possibly own them all, it is a good idea to keep more than one type on hand, even if only in small trial size bottles.

We were playing with a couple who we'd already played with a few times in the past, so I felt really comfortable with them. So comfortable, that I asked if I could have one of my fantasies fulfilled and get double-penetrated the other husband and my spouse. Everyone seemed really keen on the idea. They brought out their bottle of lube and made sure to apply it generously. The men went to work on me and it felt incredible... for the first minute. Suddenly my asshole was on fire! I started screaming, "Ow!!! Owww!!!" It turns out their lube (they only one they had in the house) was the special "warming" type. Apparently my ass had an allergic reaction to it. The couple felt terrible. But the next time they invited us to their house they literally had a box under the bed with my name on it. It had about 10 different types of lubricants. Now those are true swinger friends!
-Mel, Florida-

We both had just received our $600 stimulus checks from the government... and decided it would be fun to try and spend it all on sex toys! So we blew around $1000 both online and at our local adult store. We wanted our collection to be the envy of all our swinger friends. We went for the really quality silicone toys. We also bought the more expensive silicone lube... which ended up totally destroying many of our new toys! Apparently some toys are not compatible with certain types of lube. Now we store our different types of lubes in containers along with the toys that they are compatible with.
-Donna, Maryland-

If you follow this advice and stock your home with these items, your efforts will probably go un-noticed by your guests, at least on a concious level. But what they will notice, is that they really enjoyed being in your home. They were comfortable. They were at ease. They felt sexy and very well taken care of. Your guests will be left with a lasting impression that will keep them coming back to your home (and cumming in your home) again and again.

My thanks to all of our readers who submitted their personal stories. Happy Swinging!

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