Listening to the advice your parents gave you growing up could really help you as a swinger. Whether we liked it or not, it was good advice for getting us through life then, and it's still good advice for getting us through the swinging lifestyle now! Let's look at some of that great advice dear old Mommy gave us about swinging!

Go ask your Father!
How many times did we hear this reply when asking Mom for permission to go somewhere or have a friend over? Mom and Dad understood the importance of including each other to make good decisions regarding you and your safety. This connectivity in decision making is absolutely critical for you now in making good quality decisions about your activities in the lifestyle. If at any point one of you begins controlling your experiences and boundaries you are destined for trouble. Before making any decision, no matter how large or small, you should ensure you both have discussed and are comfortable with exactly what each other wants. This is extremely important when you are new and still learning this side of each other.

You're not going out dressed like that... are you?
First impressions are extremely important in the lifestyle. If you want to find couples to play with, you should always represent yourself in the best light possible. This means spend some time and care in taking pictures for your online profiles. Don't just throw up some pics you happen to have saved on a hard drive somewhere, but set up a homemade photo shoot and get some nice new pictures. Mrs. Gentlenibbles and I love doing these homemade photo shoots, and they are usually followed or interrupted by some great sex! This same habit should be practiced when going out. Spend some time primping and getting sexy before heading out. If you show up at an event looking like you just got off work, you probably are going to meet fewer people than if you put on that sexy new dress or outfit you just bought. It may sound a little shallow, but when finding other couples to have sex with,presentation is a major part of the package.

Just be yourself!
Make sure you put your best foot forward, but don't misrepresent who you are. Putting pictures on your profile from ten years or 50 pounds ago is not a good idea at all. Keep in mind, at some point for the "swinging" part of this whole lifestyle thing to take place you are going to meet these people face to face. Any fibbing you have done, is going to be real obvious at this point and a very awkward conversation may follow. Often whatever insecurities you may be trying to hide, whether it be your weight, age, or something else, would be no problem with other couples, but everyone has problems with being lied too!

Life is what you make of it...
Just like the wallflowers at your high school prom, if you don't get out there, mingle, and get to know some people you most likely will have trouble finding a couple to "dance" with. One of our favorite parts of the lifestyle is meeting people, having fun, and flirting like crazy! If you work on those three things, don't worry because the sex will take care of itself. Often new couples are so intimidated by the upcoming naked activities, that they have trouble enjoying all the fun with the clothes on. Just relax and picture everyone naked, unless they are naked. In that case drop your drawers, take lots of pics and send them our way!

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!
One of the number one turn-offs listed over and over by lifestylers is the term "drama". If you and your spouse are having some issues, whatever you do keep that to yourself and head for the house. A small spat tends to get bigger after the clothes come off. Mrs. Gentlenibbles and I won't even consider playing with a couple if they appear to have any issues whatsoever. We just do not want to take the chance of getting stuck in the middle of a fight. Even though the lifestyle community is quite large, if you get known as a couple that tends to be a little dramatic you will find fewer couples interested in spending time with you!

I don't care if all your friends are doing it!
This may be one of the most important things you learn about the lifestyle. If at any point you feel uncomfortable or in a situation you can't control, STOP what you are doing. Too often new couples tend to feel a need to keep from disappointing playmates even if it goes against rules they may have in place. Just because you are a swinger does not mean that your thoughts and rules about your body and sex are any less important. If someone is trying to coerce you into moving further than you are comfortable, then they are in the wrong not you! A simple rule to tell yourself is "You are in this for fun and pleasure, if at any point neither of those qualities are present, stop and leave!"

The point of these lessons from our mother is quite obvious! Just like real life use common sense when navigating the lifestyle. Know yourself, your spouse, and your comfort levels and treat others with respect and adhering to theirs. Follow that simple advice and you will be a long way towards learning to swim in the "swinging" sea!

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