Heroes and Hedonists
Police Officers by Day, Swingers by Night.
by B.R. BATES
Polyester pants and shirt, dressed with silver coated brass embellishments shining like the sun. I step into polished black tactical boots, each enclosing my calf and ankle in leather. In a well-practiced perfect swoop, I throw the black garrison belt around my waist. You can hear the clink and rattle of metal with each step I take. The smell of steel is intoxicating. My appearance is intimidating and commanding.
No. I wasn't going to a dungeon or a party.
I was going to work.
The husband and I used to huddle before a lifestyle event. He would say, "Okay, if someone asks you what you do, you're going to say hairdresser and I'm going to say construction worker." This one was a massive failure the first time we used it, turns out the male half of the couple was in construction. Shoptalk was imminent, and hubby froze like a Popsicle. The next time, he told me "Okay, you're a nurse and I'm in waste management." No dice. Another massive fail. Just so happened that the wife worked in the Division Of Waste Management. We gave up the charade, chalking the blunders up to rookie fear. However, we remain mute regarding our occupations. He smiles his best "I have a secret" smile and I tell people I'm his geisha.
Anything the public perceives as "lewd" or "immoral" can tarnish your image as a police officer and ultimately lead to the demise of your career.
We are proud of what we do, but cautious about whom we tell. Compared to the moral code of yesteryear, it is clearly more acceptable to live an alternative lifestyle in the 21st century. In 1994, a female New York police officer was ousted after appearing nude in Playboy magazine. While completely within her right to express herself, she did so wearing her departmental issued uniform. In 2001, a female Los Angeles police officer also posed for Playboy. As of 2007, she was still employed. Times change and attitudes change. However, as big as the acceptance culture has become, there are some who still have to live secret lives. My husband and I for example, risk losing our law enforcement careers if we were identified as swingers. Despite our desire to "come out of the closet," discretion is mandatory. So much of the law enforcement career is centered on "the image." In the opinion of the general public, the life you lead outside of the department bears weight on your ability as an officer. Anything the public perceives as "lewd" or "immoral" can tarnish your image as a police officer and ultimately lead to the demise of your career.
For a good time, call 911!
Dependant on the labor laws in your state, and the hierarchy you serve, a lot of swingers in law enforcement stay under the radar. Here, in the Bible belt, we live in a right to work state. Where employers do not have to have good legal reason to fire you, and where Constitutional Law plays a distant second to Blue Laws. Sex laws in southern states are very antiquated. You will find most sodomy laws are still on the books and that extra-marital sex is illegal. While I have never been called upon to administer justice to a married couple swapping parners, I wouldn't be surprised if I had to participate in prosecution of someone just expressing their sexuality. Swinger's clubs in our state are just hotel parties with secure floors. To law enforcement, these clubs are really of no concern. But still, DJ and I watch and see how many misdemeanors (and sometimes felonies) are committed in our presence. We know better than to do those things ourselves, lest there be headlines the next day. "POLICE OFFICER COUPLE ARRESTED IN SEX CLUB RAID."
Despite our need for secrecy, we thrive in the lifestyle. Our occupations have yet to hinder us when we desire some playtime. Most couples are very understanding about our desire to remain mute about our occupations. The ones who become close friends are aware of what we do, and have been faithful in their promise to keep it to themselves. We have even encountered other public servants from our community, including teachers, federal officers, and other police officers. It's always encouraging to see that your fellow swingers come from similar walks of life, and share the same values as you.
DJ and I are heroes during the week, and hedonists on the weekend. We like it that way, and don't feel the need to apologize to anyone for our choices. But come Monday morning, I often think to myself how much more fun and interesting the locker room conversations would be if I could share with my fellow officers what I REALLY did over the weekend.
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