I was over surfing some swinger related forums and came upon a topic that I've seen mentioned relatively frequently. The topic was: "Overweight and Swinging: Are they compatible?"

Personally, I believe they are as compatible as "Bread and Butter."

One of the great things about the swinging lifestyle is it's all-inclusive nature. Collectively, we in the lifestyle community have attractions that fit the entire spectrum of people, and thus include (usually with open arms) everyone that makes up that spectrum.

The first question that comes to my mind when I hear this topic raised is, "Do you and your mate find each other attractive?" If you do, then why wouldn't you expect someone else out there to feel the same way. In my life I have been with women of many different sizes, and I can tell you that the size of my smile is in no way correlated to the size of their waistline. There is so much more that goes into the science of attraction than just looks.

One of our most unsatisfying experiences we've had in the lifestyle was with one of the hottest looking couples we have ever met. The woman was a very sexy supermodel type... and she knew it. She made no attempt to connect with me in any way, but rather yelled directions, had an orgasm or two, and was ready to pack up. I enjoy being a very passionate person when I'm with a woman and don't like the feeling of being a "boner donor" for a Barbie doll. Don't get me wrong, I still chalked this up as a good time... I am a man after all. But we don't plan on getting together with that couple again. Especially when there are so many fun and beautiful couples out there with fun and beautiful personalities to match.

Personality is the name of the game in this lifestyle! You can be the most physically attractive person in the world, but if you're lifeless and boring, it is going to make for a pretty awkward evening. I am quite a few pounds above my "college weight" myself, but I think I am a lot of fun to be around. That, and the fact I am married to an absolute hottie, serves me pretty well.

...the vast majority of people are not going to be sexually attracted to the vast majority of other people. That kind of fantasy world only exists in porno films.

Of course there are certain reality checks that we all must make. I have a huge crush on Claire Danes. I firmly believe she is the second most attractive woman in the world (a close runner up to my wife). But, if I had to weigh the odds of her finding me attractive enough to sleep with... some really low numbers come to mind. Don't get me wrong, I'd sure give it the old college try if I saw her at a bar; but I would do so with very realistic expectations of what my chances are. Naturally, it's not fair to expect that everyone is going to be physically attracted to everyone else. In fact, I think it's safe to say that the vast majority of people are not going to be sexually attracted to the vast majority of other people. That kind of fantasy world only exists in porno films.

So what do you do if you are uncomfortable with your weight, but you want to get into the swinging lifestyle? My simple advice is to start getting comfortable with your weight! You could do this by trying to drop the sixty pounds you've been trying to get rid of for ten years, but a far easier way is by simply learning to be comfortable with yourself as you are now. Getting into better shape and taking better care of your health is always a good idea and can be something you continue to work on in the long term (swinging is one of the best motivators you can have when it comes to keeping a healthy lifestyle). But a rock hard body is not an immediate necessity when it comes to exploring the swinging lifestyle. All you really need is self confidence, along with the unconditional love, acceptance, attraction, admiration, support and lust of your mate. Armed with that alone, you can easily venture out together and start mingling with the people you are comfortable with. You'll probably even discover that you are quite a bit hotter than you give yourself credit for!!!